Author’s Note: Every one of my women with spunk stories are true stories, narrated to me by the women who went through these challenges in life, and overcame them with sheer grit and determination. Names have been changed to protect their privacy.
Abhilasha’s story was one that was close to my heart. Like her, I too lost a grandmother just before my wedding and it hit me hard. I was engaged to my now husband of twenty years, and he was there for me in my grief and sorrow. A potential life partner who is not committed to you and who develops cold feet at the first sight of a challenge and doesn’t even have the courage to break things off and admit to themselves they are not ready for a lifetime commitment – this is what Abhilasha experienced instead.
Read her story here if you would like to catch up before you read on to how her life turned around.
Abhilasha’s story was one that represented the pettiness of many a man opting for an arranged marriage as opposed to finding their own life partner. Instead of looking forward to a life partner in every sense of the word, they instead expect a mail-order bride, one who never falls sick or has any real life challenges and problems. One whose life is picture perfect, and she herself is picture perfect all the time.
A few months after I wrote about Abhilasha, the family began to gently nudge her towards considering marriage again and letting them begin the hunt for the perfect groom for the apple of their eye. Slowly, Abhilasha came around to the idea. She knew it wasn’t fair of her to generalise and accuse all the males in the world for Aditya’s attitude and behaviour. She reminded herself to be positive and more importantly, keep an open mind.
Rohan entered Abhilasha’s life one fine day when the families met and gave the opportunity for a “girl meets boy” event. The families gave them some privacy to talk and break the ice.
Abhilasha’s prior engagement and the circumstances under which it ended had already been communicated to Rohan’s family through a common friend. That avoided the need to break the ice with an awkward conversation and set the stage for a more positive, future-focused first interaction.
The first thing Abhilasha noticed as they both spoke about topics ranging from friends to jobs to schools and colleges they had attended, favourite restaurants… was the ease and comfort she felt almost immediately with Rohan. They chatted away for nearly an hour before one of the family members peeked back into the room apologetically.
The glow of comfort and the shine in their eyes for a bright future was unmistakable. The family was conscious of the fact that Abhilasha had been through a lot and they should not pressurise her into making any decision. But they could not help feel like things were moving in the right direction indeed.
Over the next few weeks, Abhilasha and Rohan spent every free moment together. They both were determined to give each other the time and space to get to know each other better and the family respected this.
On the one hand, Abhilasha felt alive. Joy coursed through her veins and she let herself be carried by the waves of positive emotions washing through her. On the other hand, a tiny part of her held back, still afraid to trust after what had happened.
Rohan was patient and kind. In the past few weeks, he had fallen deepy in love with Abhilasha and wanted to build a life and a future with her. In his mind, he could see how wonderful a life it would be. While he had already made his decision, he was careful not to rush her. Instead, he demonstrated his love for her in small and significant ways, slowly building the trust that he knew Abhilasha had lost somewhere in her past.
It took time, patience and a leap of faith. But Abhilasha finally made her decision. She felt a connection with Rohan that she had never felt before in her life. They just made sense together.
With the sense of commitment that comes only with faith, trust and love – Abhilasha and Rohan pledged their life to each other. They were engaged almost immediately and married a few months later.
From the joy and laughter on their faces, and the love for each other that is obvious to anyone who sees them together, I know the Universe brought the perfect two people together.
Indeed, life goes on and for the better, no matter what circumstances we have to face to get there.