Bhoomija – Part 2 – The Second and Third Crossroads

Author’s Note: Every one of my women with spunk stories are true stories, narrated to me by the women who went through these challenges in life, and overcame them with sheer grit and determination. Names have been changed to protect their privacy.

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Bhoomija’s father had given her sound advice to bring the whole situation up with Ram and then take a decision on her future as it would affect her whole life from this point forward.

Bhoomija found herself at the second crossroad of her life. She just didn’t know it at the time. Blinded by love for Ram, she reasoned that it could not get any worse than it was. This was already rock bottom from what she could see. It was only years later that she would realise how much worse it would get.

But that was in the future, and for the present Bhoomija kept up her weekend routine of visiting and spending time with Ram’s family. They were a few months into their engagement and since both were working, did not get much quality time to spend with each other. Ram and Bhoomija began to go out on dinner dates weekend evenings.

This happened for a couple of weeks with no backlash or resistance. Subsequently though, Ram’s mother put her foot down and insisted both were being wasteful and spending money unnecessarily. Besides they were leaving her home alone and having a good time outside which was not polite at all. All this sounded perfectly reasonable to Ram who promptly cancelled their weekend dinner routine. Instead they somehow found time on working weekdays to meet up for lunch and in this way grabbed alone time whenever they could.

Around this time Bhoomija began to realise that Ram blindly trusted his mother. But then who doesn’t trust their mother? A mother protects, nourishes and always has your best interests at heart. She never plots or schemes or tries to sabotage your life. These things happened in dramatic novels or movies, not real life! Bhoomija didn’t give this any further thought that necessary. It was never in her nature to disrespect her elders or try to instigate one person against another. She wasn’t about to start now.

It was Bhoomija’s ardent wish that she be married in the style of her culture and tradition but Ram’s mother flatly refused. Typically in Indian weddings the preferences of the groom’s side took precedence in such matters and it was no different in Bhoomija’s case. Her wedding would be as Ram’s mother wanted it.

As the wedding day approached, Ram’s mother decided how Bhoomija would look on her wedding day, down to the make up and hairdo! Bhoomija was a simple person by nature and did not prefer the garish suggestions. She respectfully requested her future mother-in-law to allow her to dress as she wanted to and said she was not comfortable with the choices made.

What followed was another drama with Ram’s family up in arms over this refusal, her future mother-in-law leading the pack. The facts presented to Ram were skewed and he was given the impression that Bhoomija had misbehaved with his mother and sister. He called her and asked her to give due respect and follow whatever traditions and customs she was being asked to follow.

At this point, Bhoomija began to truly wonder if Ram would ever see her point of view and side with her where it mattered. His views seemed to be permanently skewed on the side of his family and he seemed to lack a balanced viewpoint that took all aspects into consideration.

She was not alone in this observation. Twenty-four hours before the wedding, her father approached her yet again and implored her to rethink her decision. He was ready to support her even if she decided to back away from the wedding altogether and told her he would handle all the backlash that would inevitably come their way. But the decision had to be hers.

This was the third crossroad in Bhoomija’s life where yet again her intense love and the feelings she held for Ram overpowered everything else. She felt they were very young and this is probably why Ram also did not feel comfortable taking a stand on anything at this point. She was confident that one day he would take into account her side of the story too, and life would be beautiful.

Her father wasn’t similarly convinced. They left the conversation suspended until Bhoomija slept over it. Bhoomija was sure by this time that she wished to go ahead with the marriage but her father insisted on having this conversation in the morning.

In a few hours, the morning of Bhoomija’s wedding dawned and with it, her decision.

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