Last year when I took a short break from working life, and began to take stock of life and what I wanted from it, a long-lost dream resurfaced from my memory. I always wanted to pursue an MBA degree. But I worked shifts for the most of my career in my 30s to early 40s and never had weekends available free and clear every week to sign up for something like this. In 2022, I moved on to other organizations and roles that weren’t the 24×7 shift roster kind, but I had completely forgotten about this personal ambition of mine until April last year.

I began to look for universities and options and finally signed up with SP Jain School of Global Management for an 18-month program that commenced in the third week of July 2024.

My break had ended by then and I started a new job back in June, in another city and country.

The entire experience has been surreal so far!

• Pursuing a degree along with a fulltime job forces you to prioritize, to pick what you will and will not do with the 24 hours available to you in a day.
• I have met some amazing and driven individuals who are part of my batch. Most of us are pursuing the degree along with fulltime jobs, and this makes us understand what we are going through more than anyone outside of this group ever could.
• Besides the fascinating subjects and course content that is in itself an amazing educational journey, I have learnt so much from every one of my batchmates. It is an education that one cannot get even if one were ready to pay for it!
• I have discovered a new level of focus and determination in myself that I never knew existed.
• I am both humbled and amazed by the support I get from my husband, my family and my friends. Not one of them has judged me for my limited time and availability, but rather make time for me whenever I do manage to make time for a quick catch up or meal.

On top of it all, I am learning a lot about myself. One would think that at six months away from turning all of fifty, I would focus on the learning and not be overly bothered by things like exams and assignments that result in grades and marks.

Unfortunately, no. I am as superstitious and jittery about exams and assignments as I was back in the 90s in my school and college days. On days when I am due to appear for exams where I find the subject especially tough and daunting, I default to my father’s dose of a lucky charm to do well in exams – a few spoonsful of yoghurt mixed with sugar.

Then comes the day of the results. While we knew the exact date back in the day, now it’s a notification from an app on your phone. But the mouth still turns dry and the stomach churns until the results pop up on the screen. The feeling of achievement is the same. Funnily enough, the feeling of falling short of mark remains the same too. I would immediately feel like I let my father down somehow, and would be disappointed with myself for that reason. Even though it is sixteen years since he passed, the same feeling continues to this day. Thankfully, there have not been too many of those, although he might not have reacted to a “B” in the same way I do!

Through these months, I have asked myself many times – why am I putting myself through what feels like torture on some days. I’ve even asked my husband to remind me a couple of times what is the one reason I need to stick to this until the end. He plays back my own words to me – “If not now, when?”

You see, I have convinced myself that as a person, I will not be interested in studying for a degree past the age of 50. Hence my mantra – “If not now, when?”

My husband disagrees. He expects I will find something else to study next. He predicts a PhD in my future.

I choose to keep an open mind on this subject, although I have a sneaking suspicion that he may be right.

Today though, I want to take a step back and acknowledge my batchmates and everyone else out there who takes on challenges that test our patience, resilience, confidence, strength and everything we thought we knew about ourselves.

We have our good days and our bad days. We don’t always agree with each other. We systematically drive each other up the wall.

But we share one thing in common. Against all odds, against all that life throws at us, we’re still here. And we’re not going anywhere anytime soon. Except hopefully together, to the finish line.

Here’s to us!