Epilogue – Bhoomija Speaks

Visit The Bhoomija Story To Access All Parts of this True Story

Note: The below epilogue to the Bhoomija series has been written by Bhoomija herself. mykidneybeans is grateful to Bhoomija for giving us the opportunity to tell her story. It is only right that she should have the last word!

“When I look back at life, I see pain, mistakes and heartache.
When I look in the mirror, I see strength, learned lessons and pride in myself.”
– Anonymous

It has been an excruciatingly painful journey of self-discovery. But some of us must go through hell and back to find the bliss beyond the sorrow and the struggles.

My parents made me sympathetic, resilient and affectionate. On the other hand, the in-laws made me feel indebted to them forever, breaking my backbone bit by bit. I could not recognise this emotional abuse from the in-laws and accepted it as a lifestyle, despite being a progressive person in all other ways.

I did not take the taunting, isolation, control or verbal misconduct very seriously and time and again went with the flow thinking someday I will impress, and things will change. Many a times that which seemed like a regular banter, in no time turned into a cycle of repetitive incidents followed by apologetic and hostile gestures. In between all this the only thing that remained consistent was the undivided affection and love between me and my husband.

We both were fighting our own inner demons. Many a times then, I could never understand my husband’s incapability to stand up against his parents. But today when I look back, I see how he was emotionally tangled into a dependent human with all the orthodox upbringing, only so that his life could be remote controlled.

Our culture doesn’t accept if you stand against bad parents, as if it doesn’t exist at all and no one talks about it openly. It is understood that they are your creators and in no way will mean any harm to you. But behind every closed door there is a sorrow yet to be told, an emotional turmoil played up by your own adopted family and horrifying tales one has never heard before.

Depression is not beautiful, and no one can really put it into words better than the one who has suffered this illness. The numbness sinks you slowly and steadily. It hits everyone differently and it literally affects the whole family. I assumed further isolating myself from the world will help me heal, but I was wrong. Even though things were changing for good and the emotional abuse was fading away, something continued in the heart incessantly. I could never comprehend, why at times I sobbed inconsolably for no reason at all.

Therapy and counselling gave me emotional confidence, it helped me understand my most enduring turmoil and a reason to treat myself not only for my family but foremost for myself.

It took time and we as a family dealt with it. I used to and still at times get aggravated with triggers but now I have trained to unburden my brain from over thinking. I talk about it with the husband, question him, try to comprehend and see the whole situation from a different perspective. It has not only strengthened our relationship but has given me a closure to all the sufferings. I have forgiven my in-laws, but not forgotten and hence I prefer to not keep toxic relationships for the sake of social shame.

Life has not been fair and waiting for that right moment for things to overturn by itself hasn’t helped either. I have a spouse who stood by me and that only gave me strength to overcome the illness. I learnt that nothing can be achieved if there is no love and compatibility in a relationship. If there is no love left, then no magic will work, it only means that it is time to change the situation.

I have moved on in life and chose to stay happy not for others but for myself. I am the backbone of my family and I am building my happy home, one piece at a time. At this moment in my life I feel liberated and am happy to be alive.

Visit The Bhoomija Story To Access All Parts of this True Story

Comments

One comment on “Epilogue – Bhoomija Speaks”

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s